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Credits

3.

EXT. PLANET ROXY - THE BEACH - ROSE-GOLDEN HOUR

The YEAR is 12,510.

Roxy dozes off on the beach. The deeper he falls into unconsciousness the more of his legs lull out of existence.

Several of Planet Roxy’s multicolored moons are visible at this time of day. Millions of compact orange drones dig vastly deep chasms on the surface of each moon. Positioned against the nearest moon, white, is a long, tapered space station that resembles a cue.

A drone lands in the sand at Roxy’s invisible feet. The impact startles him awake and his body hastily phases into reality.

The drone prints a piece of continuous stationery out of its head. Roxy jumps to read it.

TELEGRAM FOR DIRK’S HUSBAND

My dearest love, In all of the alphabets of every language I have created to express my adoration for you, still there exist no words sophisticated enough to arrest your grandeur. Whole civilizations drown in the emotion you inspire in me and rise again just to glorify our love. That being said, the longer I go on about the cheapness of words the more self referential, and, thereby, annoying this message gets. Turn your head to the skies. Now all living things that cling to the surface of the planet I forged out of stardust for you will bask in your brilliantly divine image and gain a sense, a slight sense, of the perpetuity with which I keep you in my heart.

Love, Dirk.

He does as it says. The pool cue space station draws backward. Roxy’s shoulders tense up, he was never expecting that thing to actually move. It pushes forward with what from a distance looks like grace, but is an actual world-shattering force that propels the white moon forward. The white moon hits the next and sets off a chain reaction of ricocheting rainbow moons that ends when the biggest moon, too dense to budge, is struck. The still ocean in front of Roxy comes to life and tosses the boats of several catman fishermen around like toys. Its waves clap against the shore with terrifying enormity.

The surface of the supermoon cracks, then explodes. Shockwaves blast detritus all the way down to Planet Ro, blowing Roxy back. But when he unshields himself it’s amazing. The outer shell of the supermoon falls to reveal a beautiful sculpture of Roxy carved into it. He is depicted with all of the grace and sensuality befitting of a God.

ROXY: HOLY SHIT THAT WAS LOUD

Clenching his chest, he laughs. When the stress and shock is out of his system, he lingers properly on the artwork.

BEGIN FLASHBACKS:

EXT. THE PINK HILLS - NIGHTTIME

The YEAR is 12,001. Dirk and Roxy’s pink convertible is parked on a cliffside at the side of the road on a cold desert night. The hills are marbled pink, purple and orange. Ephemeral green ribbons run through the sky.

Dirk leans against the hood of the car with his pants unzipped. Roxy, jeans, cowboy boots and a little black tank top, stands a distance in front of him biting his nail. He observes Dirk’s erect penis like he’s buying a new car.

DIRK: I’m doing it.
ROXY: do u....... feel it?

Dirk hasn’t used his hands to masturbate in epochs. Still as a statue, he neutrally calculates the sensations that touching himself would produce.

DIRK: Yes.

A sudden wave of arousal crashes down on Roxy. Empathetic as he is, he physically feels the physical sensation Dirk mentally feels, mentally. The erection magnetizes him. He moves in close, standing in a place where Dirk’s penis could very well be his own. He strokes his palm along Dirk’s shaft. While Dirk is stone faced, Roxy sighs and moans as he works it. Without removing a single piece of clothing he jacks himself off through Dirk’s cock.

Dirk’s skin is sensationless. But since Roxy voided his chronic all encompassing pain, the absence of any feeling works as a convincing substitute for ecstasy. Intellectually, witnessing Roxy borrow his body is immensely erotic to Dirk. He sits behind his own eyes, watching and enjoying Roxy take ownership over this perfect object: Him.

---

EXT. SPACESHIP DOCK - DEAD OF NIGHT

YEAR 12,454

Dirk stands silhouetted at the top of the steps in the blindingly bright doorway of his tall, white spaceship. Roxy fights against the blaring floodlights and enormous gusts of air being pushed out of the bottom of the ship. Still in his pajamas, all he wants is to catch Dirk before he leaves. He can’t even hear himself screaming at the top of his lungs over the deafening whir of the engines.

DIRK: I was just struck with the most brilliant idea.
DIRK: I have to go. There’s something I need to make for you.
ROXY: dirk...!
ROXY: but when will i see you again???

Roxy watches him disappear inside.

---

EXT. ROXY CITY - BACK ALLEY - SUNSET

YEAR 12,388

3 Dirkbots throw a 4th to the ground. The target is jailbroken and has gone against operatives by sharing top secret information about the whereabouts of Dirk’s latest construction project with Roxy. He looks like a crushed car when they’re through with him. They rip the circuit out of his brain that gives him access to the Dirk master server so he can never betray the operation again.

---

INT. ROXY CITY - ROXY’S MAKESHIFT LAB - MORNING (CONT’D)

Roxy's face is the first thing the jailbroken Dirkbot sees when it reboots. They’re in Roxy’s lab which is built inside the skeleton of an old unfinished building. Roxy repaired him the best he could, but he is still missing access to the master server. Roxy looks beautiful under the sunbeams, the robot’s programming thinks.

---

EXT. ROXY CITY - DAYTIME (CONT’D)

Roxy and his gang of ragtag jailbroken Dirkbots he saved from the junkyard skip along the city with flyers, asking the cat people around in their Old Earth-style storefronts for leads on where Dirk might be. Each jailbroken Dirkbot has its own quirky walk showing its unique jailbroken personality, and they all go shirtless with matching bleached bluejeans. Roxy wears cutoff shorts to match. Dirk created this entire place and all these people for Roxy, but when shown a picture of their creator the average cat citizen’s response is no help:

CATMAN PIZZAIOLA: Never heard of ‘em.

INT. THE DIRKROXY RUINS - THE PRIMORDIAL POOL - DAY

YEAR 12,128

In the ancient Dirkroxy ruins, a big statue of Dirk points his marble sword toward what in its prime was a bathhouse where thousands of gayboys would meet to cruise and make out, but has aged into crumbling remains.

Roxy stands on the edge of a black, possibly infinite pool. A sculpture of himself more than twice the size of the Dirk sculpture looms overhead. A fountain of ephemeral ink spills from its hands. Prehistoric whales and primordial planets in liquid states travel through the sea of void. The sculpture’s hair is long and flows naturally; The caustics dancing on it make it look more liquid than solid marble.

Roxy fishes in the primordial pool with a special rod Dirk gifted him; It grants only Roxy the heart-based ability to ‘fish’ any character out of the void. Roxy feels a bite. He reels the line in only to get stupid characters like Ms. Paint and Casey and stuff.

ROXY: u wouldnt happen to have seen my bf have u
CASEY: merp

The Roxy statue’s middle finger cracks loose and falls into the pool. A big splash of black goo drenches Roxy.

ROXY: YUCK
ROXY: thanks ME

---

EXT. THE GENESIS ZOO - DAY

YEAR 12,188

An entire family of Genesis frogs sit in a pond on lilypads. One catches a Genesis fly with its tongue and eats it.

Jade and Rose walk and talk carrying big buckets of fertilizer; They spend their summers tending to the animals at the Genesis Zoo Dirk gifted Roxy. Each animal is its own color and contains its own universe.

Roxy sits on a big pumpkin beside a Genesis cow. The cow leans down and feeds on a smaller pumpkin–all the Genesis animals seem to gain nutrition from these things’ dubious qualities. It shits out something that could be a universe too, and a rowdy Genesis dog runs up and takes a bite.

Roxy shoos away the dog. He takes a deep breath and sticks his head inside the cow’s abdomen.

ROXY (muffled): DIRK?/???????????????????????????

He comes up for air. Rose slyly nudges Jade with her elbow and calls out from the opposite side of the zoo.

ROSE: Didn’t find him in that universe either?

---

INT. THE LIBRARY OF DIRKROXY - EVENING

YEAR 12,255

Roxy sits in a pile of open books taken from just about every level of the infinitely upward sprawling Dirkroxy Library. He quickly scrutinizes a book for certain information then angrily tosses it behind him, hand already on the next one. Each book is hand-written by Dirk and details the true story of every universe where he and Roxy fall in love. Dirk was told about these timelines by the Seers.

Dirk’s role as a storyteller entails omitting certain details and stretching others. One detail he’s sure never to include in any of his books is where he goes when he and Roxy aren’t together. Roxy throws another book hard against the wall in frustration.

---

INT. WINTER CABIN - EVENING

YEAR 12,187

Roxy holds his knees and leans against the window of a warmly lit winter cabin. His eyes are glazed over as he stares at the endless blizzard rage outside. He vacantly fiddles with a tiny cube, making it appear and disappear over and over. He can’t remember how long he’s watched the superwinter go on. Every thought a human could think has passed through him hundreds of times and his mind long runs empty. He slowly closes his eyes...The cube disappears, and he begins...to fade completely into the void...

---

EXT. EARTH C - METEOR COLONY - MILITARY BASE - DAY

YEAR 12,510

An endless, uniform crowd walks down a wide street. Everything in the new colony looks made of fresh concrete and rainbows refract off of every surface due to the constant drizzle of light rain. It doesn’t resemble the Old Meteor it's built on top of at all.

Roxy stands alone against the traffic of the crowd. He blends in by wearing the same kind of whimsical mask everyone else is wearing for the celebration. He nervously obscures himself behind a newspaper explaining the event in greater detail, but he can’t focus on any of the words. His eyes are focused on the floor; Initially he thought the crowds were on their way to see the military might of the new colony, when in fact, the very street they walk on is lined with big strips of reinforced glass paneling showing a peek of a vast artillery of missiles, nukes and turrets stored under the colony. The weapons are painted ornately purple and yellow with recurring calligraphic motifs of “heroic” and “just”. He gets the message, and he's scared shitless. Just then an authoritative hand firmly grips Roxy’s shoulder. He holds his breath.

---

INT. WINTER CABIN - NIGHT (CONT’D)

The door creaks open. The cube reappears and so does Roxy’s hand to catch it. He slowly opens his eyes and turns. The person behind the door... Roxy’s heart beats faster. His body is pulled out of the nothingness so it can tense up.

---

INT. ROXY CITY - ROXY’S MAKESHIFT LAB - SUNSET (CONT’D)

The jailbroken Dirkbot pulls crying Roxy into a masculine embrace. Roxy hugs him back, rubbing his fingers down his metal paneling. When they pull apart, hands still on each other, a silhouetted figure stands in the scaffold doorway before them. Not a robot–he breathes. Roxy’s lip puckers out in a sort of dopey embarrassed look. The Dirkbot shows no expression.

---

EXT. EARTH C - METEOR COLONY - MILITARY BASE - DAY (CONT’D)

...But when Roxy turns around to find that firm hand is Dirk’s, he relaxes completely. Dirk holds a bag of Earth C confections. Roxy had talked about wanting again to taste...not just the ingredients, but the time put in and real human touch that made them.

Standing against the crowd, Roxy pushes his mask up so that just his lips are showing. He raises his chin upwards. Dirk does the same with his mask and comes to meet him.

The moment that their lips meet a car appears 10 feet off the ground and falls into a swimming pool somewhere random on Earth C. Someone goes to take a drink of their coffee and a swarm of ladybugs fly out. A light bulb the size of New York bobs up to the surface of the ocean and turns on; And a thousand cherub statuettes appear at a point in the universe that no one will ever see.

All the rain that had been drizzling on the new military base turns into little bouncy balls. Dirk and Roxy keep kissing as the bouncing balls disperse the crowd around them. For the past 500 years anomalies have appeared out of thin air, most commonly on Roxy’s home planet, completely inexplicably to most observers.

---

EXT. THE PINK HILLS - DESERT HIGHWAY - DAY

Dirk and Roxy take off in their pink convertible at top speed.

---

EXT. CAN PLANET - MORNING

YEAR 12,042

Dirk, Roxy and Dementia Dave frolic hand in hand through a lush field of flowers that grow out of densely packed cans inset in the ground. Dirk carries newborn Dirk Jr. in a chest pouch. All of them wear huge open smiles.

---

INT. ROXY’S KITCHEN - MORNING

YEAR 12,457

DIRK (thinking): Roxy's spread open on the kitchen table for me. Items of our interrupted breakfast dive off the rumbling table. Half peeled bananas. Plates of protuberant sausages. A puddle of gooey milk seeps into the rug. But it’s okay, I don't eat anyways.

He's wrapped around my unfeeling dick like a finger puppet. I control his every movement. I follow the invisible curvature of his nerves, alive with streaks of electricity darting every which way like planes hopping around the globe. Every synapse fires because I want it to. When a nerve is tickled, it's far from an accident when and where. Brain activity is what I’m looking for–I want to see fireworks in there. It’s so sexy.

ROXY: d-dirk it’s huge...! j-jeez, i cant take it...

DIRK (thinking): We're only on hour 1.5 of the 7 hour marathon I have planned. I spit a mouthful of chilled water between his lips to help hydrate him. A grueling undertaking like this is tough on my husband, but it's worth it in the end; First-rate pleasure lasts in the system long after the fucking is through. He invites me inside him with zero resistance. He thinks I’m impossibly hot. I am. It shows in his flushed chest, his creased eyebrows. He struggles to hold this much pleasure inside his body. Sweat travels down his lanky torso into the creases of his inner thighs. Those thighs. I squeeze my tip between them. 2 hands and 1 dick simply isn’t enough to enjoy his exquisitely plump body to the fullest before we part again. Looking at him like this, those perky nipples pointing at me accusatorily and his gently parted lips, I feel like he was made for me to fuck.

An electric bolt shoots through the tip of my perfect dick straight into my chest, sending a thousand ticklish pricks throughout my body and jumpstarting my cold dead heart.

ROXY: !!!!!!!

DIRK (thinking): Every cell in me screams out that it’s starving. I press all my weight down trying to devour the warm, quivering presence below with my body. Fuck. It’s so good... Jesus. I’ve already pulverized my dick into a cloud of excited atoms, so if I keep humping I should be able to melt completely into the pool of good feelings underneath me.

ROXY: dirk??! not that hole!! ah--

DIRK (thinking): Whatever it is anymore, it’s tight, it’s gooshy. It’s downright refreshing. Even the air brushing against my arm hairs feels erogenous. Every inch of me is begging to be touched ...I start to wonder. That old place beneath my balls and before my asshole, I remember it feeling so good, but...

I take a hand and start to move it somewhere, I’m not sure where.

Roxy’s hand is vaguely guided by Dirk’s until it intuitively gathers where it’s supposed to go. His fingers slide deep inside Dirk’s pussy until they hit a wall. He’s still trapped under his hearty husband and vaguely immobile, but he thrusts his hand in and out, determined to restore life to that place which hasn’t seen action since the Jake bareback period.

Dirk moans and cums inside of Roxy.

Sweat drips off his face onto Roxy’s chest. Dirk regains clarity and he sees the human being in front of him again.

DIRK: Did you cum?
ROXY: n-no...?
DIRK: What time is it?

They didn’t even bang 2 hours. Roxy isn’t offended, but he is reasonably confused. Dirk has maintained a 500 year pattern of making him cum first every time they do it. Dirk backs away in horror of himself.

ROXY: wat hapened
ROXY: ...
ROXY: helo??

Dirk turns his back to him. He presses his glasses up defensively and hides the rest of his face with his hand. He slinks into the shadows where he can’t be seen.

He does 9001 pushups on the roof in the hot rain. Roxy peeks at him from behind the wall, shrugs and goes back downstairs to finish; The image of Dirk’s cute embarrassed face is enough wet dream fuel for the rest of his century.

Dirk pushes his muscles to the point they fill with absolute misery. He’s on fire, that’s what he’s looking for. But he takes a breath and healthy, oxygenated blood surges through his system. His cheeks flush. Relief blossoms across him carrying him past the pain, reminding him he was born a human once upon a time. He grapples with the fact that the sex was great, and all he needed was a brain connected to a pair of eyes to feel it.

---

EXT. EARTH C - ATOP THE METEOR COLONY

YEAR 12,???

A SPECTER OF DEATH hunches over the new society like a wicked cloaked gargoyle, mountainous thunderclouds swirling in the dead atmosphere above. It has something crumpled in its hand.

---

EXT. CAN PLANET - MORNING (CONT’D)

Dirk and Roxy hold hands and spin around in a circle again and again. Their fingers slide apart and they let each other go.

END FLASHBACKS.

---

EXT. PLANET ROXY - THE BEACH - SUNSET (CONT’D)

The supermoon sculpture of Roxy sparkles so bright it’s impossible to look at.

EXT. EARTH C - ATOP THE METEOR COLONY - NOW

Dirk puts his phone away. He kneels on top of the apex of the massive glass dome encompassing the newest colony built on Earth C. It repurposes the old meteor that the Gods once traveled on. Now, it scarcely resembles its old look at all. It is lush and beautiful.

Dirk stares at it in disgust. He hunches over the new society like a wicked cloaked gargoyle, mountainous thunderclouds swirling in the dead atmosphere above. He grips the hilt of his sword, terrified to let go, and the glass chips under his trembling blade. Crumpled between his hand and the sword is a recent newspaper from Earth.

CALIBORN: DIRKY WUVS YOU?
CALIBORN: HA. HA. HA. HA.

Dirk has been lying to Roxy. Rather than spending all of his time creating gifts for Roxy, he has been dedicating a small fraction of it sitting atop the Meteor Colony contemplating destroying it. He’s drenched in sweat. It takes all of his strength and focus to fight the Ultimate voices, which are now louder than ever.

CALIBORN: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU.
CALIBORN: WHEN DID YOU BECOME. SO WEAK.