FAIR WANDA: Can't pick up ya youngins' like I used to. But otherwise, this MECHANICAL HEART ya built me is a reaaaaaaaaaa...aaa...a...a...l...

<

>

The whirring and pulsing and crunching in her chest comes to a sudden stop.

<

>

She dies.

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>

It starts back up again. Life goes on.

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FAIR WANDA: ...Life saver.

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WALNUT: Just doeszing my job miss. Take away 'nuf parts from lots and you still got lots'a parts left. (wide smile)

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MEAN MISSI: I won't never get used to that hexed ass nonsense. Billybob ain't used to make stuff like that. That shit some devil shit.

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FAIR WANDA: Uh huh, well, Billybob only make funny shit that don't do anything.

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DUMB-O DEB: Ain't true. He make the thingie-ma-jigger I straighten my hair with.

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FAIR WANDA: That's more a testament to your smarts, D.

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FAIR WANDA: But this here thing, this here girl? Save my life! Really truly, I got shot in the heart. What you--what part is you missin' here?

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MEAN MISSI: I don't trust like that.

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DUMB-O DEB: Sighhhhhh...Billyyyboooob....

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FAIR WANDA: Billyyyboooooooob....

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MEAN MISSI: Billyyyyyyboooooooob....

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The moms hop on and ride the high of that sweet, sexy namesake all the way to skyworld. Meanwhile, Billybob's daughters sit (one still trouncing the other) dumbfounded.

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Here we have the opening to the exact extraneous bullshit Lisa Sharp wanted to avoid on her way to WORSHIP GOD. Let her roar contemptuously to sell this point.

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LISA SHARP: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GROSS.

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DUMB-O DEB: Billy ain't gross! He was all cuuuuuuuuuute and niiiiiiiiiiice.

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MEAN MISSI: That is puttin' it in chile-friendly terms. With all the whatnot and suchforth happenin' between pickin', you couldn't tell whether this MASTER'S plantation or Billy's.

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LISA SHARP: Master?

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FAIR WANDA: Oh please Missi. Not in God's house.

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DUMB-O DEB: We ain't in God's house. We standin' outside it. He can't hear us here we can says whatever we want.

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DUMB-O DEB: Boobies!!!

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MEAN MISSI: Uh huh He better hope He ain't hear what I 'bout to say--

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FAIR WANDA: Girls. Go play with your lil' brooooooooooooo...

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>

Wait it out.

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FAIR WANDA: ...thers and sisters.

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Walnut and Lisa look at each other curiously.

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WALNUT: I am playin' wit' mah brothers and sisters look at it look! Boopboopboopboopboopboopboop

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Walnut starts poking Lisa in the face at warp speeds.

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LISA SHARP: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH STOP IT WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT WE AIN'T GOT NO BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!

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FAIR WANDA: Ahem.

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FAIR WANDA: Your half brothers and sisters, gals.

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LISA SHARP: Oh.

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LISA SHARP: NO! I HATE THEM!!!

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FAIR WANDA: Hey now, them's my kids.

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MEAN MISSI: And mine.

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DUMB-O DEB: Think some of 'em came out me too.

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LISA SHARP: I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM I HATE THEM

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FAIR WANDA: Now Lisa Sharp stop pitchin' a duck fit outside the Lord's house.

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LISA SHARP: YOU AIN'T MY MAMA!

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FAIR WANDA: !

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Wanda dies again.

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WALNUT: Aw comes on Lisa Snop you didn't has to kilt her

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MEAN MISSI: Really is a shame what happen to the girls' mama.

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The girls turn bewildered, as if they just popped out of existence and it was regarded as a natural exit by the adults.

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DUMB-O DEB: Awwwww. That's what we call a local tragedy 'round here.

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DUMB-O DEB: Ummmm? What did happen?

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MEAN MISSI: Who knows. Hear it was somethin' to do with this and that.

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DUMB-O DEB: And the other?

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MEAN MISSI: 'Specially.

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DUMB-O DEB: Gasp! That's so unbelievably terrible!

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MEAN MISSI: Uh huh. Good thing we didn't know her.

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DUMB-O DEB: But we know everyone!

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MEAN MISSI: I know! This bitch come outta thin air?

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DUMB-O DEB: I always hear she fell out the sky.

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WALNUT: Da sky?

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MEAN MISSI: Think you mean a real tall tree.

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DUMB-O DEB: The sayin' goes!

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MEAN MISSI: You got it all wrong. She fell out a tree when she was pregnant, after that she disappeared in a lake.

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DUMB-O DEB: Yeah but she was just takin' a bath Missi. Don't be dumb.

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MEAN MISSI: Shut up! I ain't even believe that rumor. I believe the one that say she got flown away by a giant bird.

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DUMB-O DEB: That's my favorite one!

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MEAN MISSI: If only we could just ask Billy what happened.

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MEAN MISSI: ...

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MEAN MISSI: Hey girls, what happen to your dead mama?

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LISA SHARP: HELLO?

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The women presently alive pout sympathetically past the girls.

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MEAN MISSI: We think we got it bad. Just look at 'em. Ain't got nobody to figuratively whip they behinds into shape.

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DUMB-O DEB: Poor orphans.

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DUMB-O DEB: I got parents.

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Wanda wakes up with a couple a jolts.

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FAIR WANDA: What's goin' on?

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WALNUT: We orphans. (wide smile)

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FAIR WANDA: I die for two seconds and y'all...!?

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FAIR WANDA: (You hedge hoes know we ain't supposed to tell the girls they mama's alive somewhere and just ain't bothered to claim 'em!

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FAIR WANDA: Or rather, somehow went TO the bother of not claimin' 'em. That's the sorta thing we do not bring up period.)

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Walnut and Lisa stand there orphanly.

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Deb and Missi look at each other.

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DEB & MISSI: Oooooooooooooooooooooooh.

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MEAN MISSI: Uh uh, don't look at me! They ain't look a drop like this pretty face.

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DUMB-O DEB: Ummmmm ummmm ummmm I don't 'member givin' birth to 'em...?

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Deb momentarily retreats to Debonia to take count of her children.

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DUMB-O DEB: On..tw...thr...f...

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FAIR WANDA: Tch. What it matter to 'em now? They grown.

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FAIR WANDA: And like it said, it take a plantation.

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Another warm smile. With Sharp turned away, Walnut will have to soak up that sunlight for the both of 'em.

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MEAN MISSI: With Billy 'round sure did.

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DUMB-O DEB: Yeah! We could share Billy, we can share his kids!

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FAIR WANDA: What you say, girls? Want three new crazy mamas?

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LISA SHARP: NO. WALNUT: Four or we walks.

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MEAN MISSI: Three mamas? That the sorta thing we sayin' in God's house now?

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>

FAIR WANDA: We standin' outside it, 'member? Plus. Ain't you remember who we shared Bobby with?

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MEAN MISSI: Wha? Uh uh. You Know Who the only one who got into all that. Billy ain't get into all that.

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FAIR WANDA: Oh please. They both got into it. Often with each other.

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MEAN MISSI: Ew!

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>

FAIR WANDA: That man Billybob was different. You'd skip church on a Sunday to see him no matter what you hidin' under the apron.

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>

Wanda covers her embarrassed smile knowing she let her filter slip.

<

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DUMB-O DEB: Oh! Oh! We talkin' 'bout DICK RIVER?

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>

FAIR WANDA: No?

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DUMB-O DEB: Legend say a SHADOW pitch as tar, mute as the dead and eyes bloody as the very RED RIVER it crawl out of appear every night behind the tower.

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DUMB-O DEB: If some poor nigga walkin' along the river the SHADOW pull him in without a sound and make him part of the beast with two backs.

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DUMB-O DEB: You know, SEX!

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DUMB-O DEB: But if that nigga don't want his bread buttered by a black ass sea man and try and run away?

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DUMB-O DEB: That poor fool lucky if they find him in no more than three chunks.

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DUMB-O DEB: And if he do return to the CABINS, he return alone. His ding dong DICK stay in that RED RIVER.

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DUMB-O DEB: With each nigga's stolen thingie the RED RIVER run REDDER and REDDER.

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MEAN MISSI: Explain why can't no nigga 'round here lay it down for shit.

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>

FAIR WANDA: Debra why is you tellin' this story in front of the babies? It's disturbin'!

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WALNUT: An' dats da story of how all da butter went missin'. A sad yet true.

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DUMB-O DEB: Oop sorry! The sequel much brighter.

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>

DUMB-O DEB: Have y'all heard of the LEGEND O' BILLYBOB OVERCOMER O' DICK RIVER?

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FAIR WANDA: No--!

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DUMB-O DEB: Legend say Billybob the only nigga to ever come back from that RED RIVER in one piece!

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MEAN MISSI: I can attest to that.

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FAIR WANDA: (Sigh.)

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>

FAIR WANDA: Me too.

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DUMB-O DEB: An' not only, but since then the SHADOW ain't claim no more unmentionables and the RIVER ain't run no REDDER.

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>

DUMB-O DEB: That's 'cause the night Billybob pass by the river, that deep black shadow jump out. But Billybob don't try and run away.

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>

DUMB-O DEB: The SHADOW fall deep in LOVE with him. And I guess bein' the pacifist he be, Billybob kinda fond of it back.

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>

DUMB-O DEB: So long as Billy return every night to his nightmare beast lover, that demon leave everybody else's plug tail alone.

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DUMB-O DEB: That's how Billy saved all the plantation's doodles!

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MEAN MISSI: Stop it!!!

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>

MEAN MISSI: Billybob didn't get into all that! He'd never go with a demon or a shadow or a nigga or whatever in God's holy unholy bell book and candle you croakin' about you toadwench!

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>

MEAN MISSI: How dare you speak of Billy like that--when he ain't even here!

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FAIR WANDA: Mississippi calm down.

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FAIR WANDA: And please... "Can't no nigga lay" my fat rear end. If I didn't know better I'd say YOU was gettin' "into it".

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>

MEAN MISSI: How 'bout this? I ain't never gettin' into it with you again if you keep talkin' that talk. Mkay?

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>

DUMB-O DEB: Yeah! Someone start talkin' some talk 'round here! I don't get anything!

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>

FAIR WANDA: Oooh someone don't wanna warm my haystack no more. Hey D, you wanna sleep in my cabin, help raise my babies, fix up my rags and borrow my drawers?

<

>

DUMB-O DEB: Naw that's okay I already borrowin' Missi's.

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Well I sure if I ask Mama Lady, Ezzy, Bubby or even some'a them mamas from the neighborin' plantation Yawny, Diddy May, Bunny or Kitty they'd be enthusiastic to replace my Miss Missi.

<

>

MEAN MISSI: Wait wait just wait a second woman! I ain't say nothin' wrong with the way we run this community.

<

>

MEAN MISSI: Defendin' Billybob is all I was doin'...

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FAIR WANDA: Billybob ain't need no defendin'. He perfect just the way he was.

<

>

A surprising moment of silence.

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Hum. Church startin.

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Well girls. Offer still stands if ya need anything.

<

>

MEAN MISSI: The hell it do. Shit. I don't need no more kids. I take care enough. I take care just about everything 'round here.

<

>

DUMB-O DEB: She very engulfed in her work. She never make no time for me...

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Uhh huhh...

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Ah. Walnut,

<

>

Wanda bends down and whispers to Walnut.

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>

FAIR WANDA: I save you a special treat for all your kind doings. After church, come 'round the cookhouse and I give it to ya.

<

>

LISA SHARP: HEY. Do I gets a treat?

<

>

WALNUT: You can has mine Lise And Carp!

<

>

LISA SHARP: RAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHH Y'ALL PEOPLE AIN'T NEVER GIVE ME NOOOTHINGGGG!!!

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Not with that attitude. You calm right down and maybe I think about givin' you a treat when you fifteen.

<

>

LISA SHARP: With GOD on MY SIDE I won't be seein' your UGLY FACE by then!

<

>

FAIR WANDA: What you mean by that!

<

>

LISA SHARP: UHHHHHHM DEFINITELY NOT THAT I'S PLANNING A SECRET REVOLUTION--

<

>

Sharp grasps the gun in her dress. No, they can't know!

<

>

MEAN MISSI: She mean that yo humpty dumpty heart gon' give out and you gon' fall dead much before you see next summer baby.

<

>

LISA SHARP: Yes! HA HA. DEAD LADY!

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Brother...You two could be related.

<

>

MEAN MISSI & LISA SHARP: No!

<

>

Walnut tugs Wanda's dress.

<

>

WALNUT: Don't listens to 'ems not-my-mommy dis heart real good it last a year and a whole HALF!

<

>

FAIR WANDA: Ah...Thanks, lil' Walnut...

<

>